either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I did not marry a roomba.
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