I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
