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Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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