that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
false alarm. still invincible.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
