I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
