Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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