don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
