bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.�
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
