I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
