I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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