he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
