I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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