Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
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