Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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