if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Randomize
