god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Randomize
