sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
