he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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