Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Randomize
