its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
