ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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