i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
