so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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