Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Randomize
