i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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