the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
