but the lizard people decide everything anyway
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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