She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
