Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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