And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Im part way to drunk.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
