Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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