my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
