dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Randomize
