Soap is not a condiment
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Randomize
