Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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