I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Randomize
