New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
