I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
