Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
