If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
the raccoons are back...
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