I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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