I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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