My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I smell stomach acid.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
