we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
