Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Randomize
