i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Randomize
