Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
