I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
