why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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