How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
