The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
You ruined the universe
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
