therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
