I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
