You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Randomize
