Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
i think i just lost a toe
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Randomize
